


maybe it's octover.

by chosuiri



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: A Lots of characters involved lmao, M/M, Mutual Pining, RYUU CENTRIC, Slow Burn, Unrequited (or is it), literally all of them appear at least once but i just listed the ones who had big parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 13:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15220127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chosuiri/pseuds/chosuiri
Summary: “Stop it, Tsunashi-san. You can’t keep doing this.” Sougo mutters quietly, reaching for his glass of beer. He lets out a sigh, and takes in a long gulp of it-- something Ryuu would never expect from someone so unwilling to touch alcohol.“What do you even mean, Sougo-kun? I won’t know what exactly I’m doing wrong unless you tell me.” Ryuu asks in a gentler tone, noticing how frustrated both of them are becoming. It’s funny, he thought talking to each other would solve this. Yet it only seems to make them feel more overwhelmed with impossible to name emotions.---(In which their friends try to help push Ryuu and Sougo together, but it somehow only makes things worse.)





	maybe it's octover.

**Author's Note:**

> "you spelled october wrong" it's a pun :'/
> 
> anyways, s/o to my friends sensei and bri for helping me out with this fic and proofreading it for me! along with everyone else i asked for help ofc, and thank you, the reader, for clicking on this and showing interest!
> 
> it's gonna be a long ride, but please enjoy!

_There's no way Sougo-kun would see me that way._ The thoughts ring repeatedly in the idol’s head as he longingly stares at the rabbit chat log pulled up on his phone. His interactions with the other are brief at most, and Ryuu finds himself hanging out more with the other MEZZO” member rather than him, and the very same is happening now.

 The chat on his phone is reminiscent of a mother warning a babysitter about her child than anything, and Ryunosuke somehow longs for more conversation than that.

 The more the two of them have talked to each other, Ryuu begins to long for more chances to speak to him. He wants to find out more about him, the person who seems so familiar yet can't be any more different than him. But what interested Ryuu most about Sougo is his endless kindness.

 He turns slightly to look at the teenager, who’s occupied with staring at the shelves filled to the brim with snacks. A quiet “ah” leaves the boy’s lips, and he grabs a bag off the shelf. It crinkles and creates squeaky noises that causes Ryuu to snap out of his thinking. “Tamaki-kun?”

 Tamaki turns around promptly, holding the bag of snacks that seemed to resemble animal-shaped crackers, but instead were in the shape of rabbits. “Ryuu-aniki, we should get these.” He points at it bluntly, “it comes with stickers. Iorin might want it.”

 So that’s what it’s about. Ryunosuke smiles and nods, “sure. Do you want me to pay?” The other brightens up as soon as he offers, indicating that his offer was well-received. He enjoyed Tamaki’s presence, there was something about him that activated his brotherly instincts. He knows in interviews he’s stated that he viewed MEZZO” as his younger brothers, but that more-so applied to the one actually referring to him as his older brother.

 “Oh, Sou-chan wanted me to buy some groceries,” Tamaki remembers spontaeneously, pulling out his phone out of his pocket and looking at his own chat log with Sougo. Curious, and even a little envious, he looks over at the long barrage of texts from Sougo chastising Tamaki on every detail. He chuckles at the list, but his mirth drops as he notices the amount of things Sougo could’ve easily told him in their own conversation.

 There’s still that sort of distance, after all.

 “Hey, you listening?” Tamaki pouts as he shakes Ryuu, “what’s wrong with you today, Ryuu-aniki. You and Sou-chan have been acting weird. Well, he’s just as naggy as ever… he acts like he’s my mom or something.”

 Ryuu laughs, shaking his head and tries to bat away Tamaki’s concern. “Sougo-kun’s acting weird?”

 Tamaki hums absentmindedly, carrying a disgruntled expression as he scrolls through his text conversation with the other. “He's very particular about how I should act around you, Ryuu-aniki. Stuff like… _don't make Tsunashi-san buy things for you! Don't be rude to him! Treat him with some more respect.  If he looks down, cheer him up to the best of your ability._ ” Tamaki begins to list off, taking on a more gentler tone as he tries to mock Sougo. “Guh, he still is typing. He might as well have come here himself.”

 Ryuu chuckles, “I would've liked that, too. He's busy today, so it can't be helped.” He glances down at his own phone, and taps on his conversation with Sougo. “I'll tell him that, and maybe to lay off on you a little.”

 

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** Sougo-kun, don't worry so much about Tamaki-kun. I'll take care of everything, okay?  Maybe next time you can come along ^^

 **[SOUGO]:** Ah, I can't possibly impose on you further than that, Tsunashi-san. I won't forgive myself if I waste your time my forcing you to hang out with me.

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** You're not forcing me at all! I am the one forcing you, really…

 **[SOUGO]:** Even if that's the case, I still… Ah, sorry. I need to get to my interview. Please take care of Tamaki-kun.

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** I will. Good luck, Sougo-kun! I'll bring him back to the dorms afterwards.

 

Sougo doesn't seem to respond after that, so Ryuu settles for putting away his phone. “Tamaki-kun, let's go ahead and get the groceries.”

 “Okay.” Tamaki replies dully, ushering Ryuu to move forward. “First thing on the list is pudding.”

 “I don't think that's really a part of the list…”

 “Hah? Of course it is!”

 Ryuu shakes his head, but smiles nonetheless. As he thought, he still enjoys spending time with Tamaki.

* * *

Even when Ryuu had planned to just drop Tamaki off straight at the house, Tamaki urges him to park in the nearby parking lot instead. “What is it, Tamaki-kun?” If it's the case of needing to carry all the groceries easier, Ryuu can help too without parking officially.

 “You want to have dinner with us? It'll just be Sou-chan and I since everyone else is so busy.” Tamaki asks so casually, “actually… this is between you and me, but his cooking is so scary. You gotta help him so he doesn't make it so spicy.”

 Tamaki seems to be back at helping him indirectly again. Ryuu blinks, “it'd be an honor. I don't mind cooking for you guys, but… is Sougo-kun fine with that?”

 Tamaki shrugs, “he will.” He says it with so much force and certainty that it makes Ryuu think he's telling the truth. There's some power Tamaki holds in his own right-- Ryuu has to admire the forthrightness the younger boy held.

 After a few attempts to adjust his parking, he shuts off the car and urges Tamaki to collect all the groceries from the back. Luckily they haven't bought so much they need more than one trip, but it'll still take the two of them to get them all back. “We sure bought a lot of vegetables… I wonder what Sougo-kun was planning for dinner.”

 Tamaki sticks his tongue out in disgust, “whatever it is, I hope it's not all of these vegetables. That's way too much.”

 Ryuu laughs, and he takes a hand to muss up the other’s hair, not thinking about the groceries in his hand.

 “Ow, watch it!” Tamaki grumbles, but keeps walking nonetheless.

 “Sorry, Tamaki-kun!”

* * *

As soon as they entered the dorms, Tamaki shouts a quick “I'm back!” and Ryuu finds himself struggling to not say the same thing. Instead, he murmurs an apology for intruding. “Oh, Sou-chan. I brought Ryuu-aniki over for dinner. That's fine, right?”

A clatter of kitchenware on the ground indicates that _it may not be fine_ after all.

Ryuu raises an eyebrow, concerned about the accident Sougo seems to have had, and darts straight in the general direction of the kitchen with groceries in hand.

“Sougo-kun?” Ryuu exclaims, entering the kitchen without warning. His eyes flitter around, taking in briefly the state of the kitchen. Luckily nothing seems to be broken, only a flushed Sougo on the ground bending over to pick up his chopsticks. “Is everything all right?” He inquires, setting the heavy bags of groceries in the most empty spot of the counter. He takes some time to distract himself by admiring the simplicity of their countertops…

Sougo doesn't respond, instead taking the chopsticks in his hands and discarding them into the sink. “Yes, everything is fine. I was just startled by the fact that you were here too, Tsunashi-san… you could've at least gave me a warning.” He finally answers, letting out a weary sigh. “I haven't started cooking yet, just… making preparations.” He gestures to the organized pile of cookware lying on the counter, accompanied with a few of the ingredients Sougo planned to use (or so Ryuu thinks).

There's a lot of chili oils and hot sauces, huh..? Ryuu makes a mental note to bring more spices from Okinawa the next time he visits to give to Sougo as a gift. In the times they managed to have a full conversation, they usually default to talking about cooking. It's nice to have someone else to talk to about household chores and the wonders of the culinary arts.

Although, it seems like things are not quite the same. Sougo seems more meek than before, and he seems withdrawn. Restrained, almost as if it's their first meeting again. “Sougo-kun? If it's an inconvenience to have me over for dinner, you can tell me to leave. I won't mind at all.”

Sougo shakes his head. “No, again, I was just very surprised… _and unprepared._ Please excuse my own rudeness.”

“Oh, Tamaki-kun asked me to cook tonight. I don't know about replacing you completely, but how about we do it together?” Ryuu suggests with a warm smile, hoping to ease the other even a little bit. He then goes through the bags, taking out all the vegetables and other things Sougo had requested on the shopping list. He had left all of Tamaki’s loot to him, and he probably went to put them away in his own personal stash.

“Huh?” Sougo gasps, looking horrified when Ryuu turns to look at him. “I can't burden you like that! Ah, it's not like that I don't like your cooking, I-I love it! It's just that I can't make the guest cook…”

“Don't worry about it, I'd love to cook for you two again. Let's just do it together, okay?” Ryuu finishes with a smile, but that smile begins to weaken in its strength as he attempts to gauge Sougo’s feelings about the whole situation. He seems nervous again, and it makes Ryuu want to take him by the hand and tell him to relax. As soon as he's finished with taking out all the groceries, he then walks a little closer to Sougo.

Sougo inches back.

Ryuu tries to get a bit closer.

This continues on for a while longer, until finally Sougo bumps his back into the fridge. His knees give out, and he slides onto the floor, with his back pressed against the fridge door.

Ryuu’s eyes widen upon hearing the thud, and immediately gets closer to examine if there has been any damage. Unexpectedly, he completely pins Sougo to the refrigerator, now no longer allowing him to move. All he sees before him is Sougo’s completely red face and for a second Ryuu observes the glittering violet of Sougo’s eyes. It's… beautiful. Even in this totally flustered state, Ryuu begins to notice just how attractive the other is.

It might be because of the close proximity, but his heart rate increases so much he feels like his heart is going to burst. “Sougo-kun? Your head is okay, right?”

“Y-Yes…” Sougo rasps back weakly, and he quickly trains his gaze elsewhere. Is he scared? “But…” The last part Sougo mumbles incoherently to where Ryuu fails to comprehend.

Ryuu blinks, not quite sure if he heard Sougo correctly. So naturally, he dips in closer, coming directly at Sougo’s face. His heart starts beating even faster now, and finally it clicks in Ryuu’s brain. Sougo must not want for him to do this sort of thing, right? He glances over to the locations of his hands, cursing himself as he notices one has pinned Sougo’s wrist to the fridge while the other kept Sougo’s other hand on the floor. “I'm so sorry! Did you mop the kitchen floor recently? If not, then you should go take a shower! Leave all the cooking to me!”

He's so inconsiderate, not even thinking that Sougo might prefer to stay clean. This is especially terrible since it's before Sougo is supposed to be managing food. It'd be a huge health risk, right?

Sougo turns back around, and eyes Ryuu with utter disbelief. “What? That's not what I meant at all…”

“It's okay, Sougo-kun. There's no need to make me feel better. When was the last time you mopped?”

Sougo, albeit still in the state of bewilderment, answers slowly, “the last time was last week. We haven't gotten around to cleaning for a while…”

Ryuu blinks, “then please take a shower. I'll take responsibility and cook dinner!” A bit flustered by the suggestive situation he's found the two of them in, he tries to release his hold on both of Sougo’s wrists, putting a hand on the fridge instead. He uses that as an anchor to hoist himself up and back into the world of standing.

“I think it'd just be fine if I washed my hands, though…” Sougo protests, but Ryuu remains unnerved on his idea of having Sougo take a shower. It's not just for that sole reason, but because Sougo looks so tired that a shower might be able to refresh him. Additionally, that is a way to let Ryuu cook and help Tamaki.

“There has to be some limit to obliviousness…” Sougo mutters, shaking his head as takes a moment to recollect himself too. He then mimics Ryuu’s actions, eventually also joining Ryuu in standing. “Tsunashi-san, I cannot in good conscience have you cook dinner for us.”

He shakes his head, “I insist, Sougo-kun. You seem to have had a long day, and it's not fair if me to do something like that to you… so please, at least take this as my own apology.”

 _Sougo-kun, just go with it! I feel bad enough for making all these excuses!_ Ryuu thinks helplessly.

Sougo sighs, finally giving in reluctantly. “If that's what you want, Tsunashi-san… if you have any difficulties in the kitchen, then ask Tamaki-kun. He should know at least a little about the kitchen.”

“Leave it to me, Sougo-kun! I'll try to make something so tasty you forget that just ever happened!”

Sougo laughs in response, but his voice fades out as he leaves the kitchen.

Now, it might be a fine time to try out that new recipe he found online…

* * *

“Tamaki-kun, aren’t you going to help clean up?” Sougo calls over, wringing a towel of its excess water into the sink. He eyes the teenager with a frown, unimpressed by his attempts to slip out free of any responsibility.

 “I… uh… have school in the morning,” Tamaki justifies himself lamely, glancing at his phone. “Gotta sleep. Get those eight hours. That’s what you want, right Sou-chan?”

Sougo regards him with another glare, “sure, if it wasn’t only 8’o clock. Tamaki-kun, you need to clean up after yourself too.”

Ryuu laughs, turning off the faucet and begins to work on washing the dishes instead. “It’s alright, Sougo-kun. I think we can handle it fine.”

Sougo frowns, “but you’re our guest--”

“I have a tons of homework to do, actually... later, Ryuu-aniki, Sou-chan!” Tamaki interjects once more, running out of the kitchen before Sougo can protest any longer, disappearing into the hallway to hide away in his room. The TRIGGER member chuckles at the incident, looking on it fondly. A grumble of some sort of disappointment comes from Sougo, who decides to retaliate his own anger by projecting it onto the poor wash cloth. He wrings it with even more force, causing Ryuu to intervene. “Sougo-kun, I think it’s plenty dry now…”

Sougo’s eyes widen, and he flattens out the towel. “S-Sorry. I’ll go wash the table now.” He steps away from the sink, a hand massaging his temples as the other balanced the damp towel. “Um, but… dinner was delicious, Tsunashi-san.”

For Sougo to initiate a conversation, Ryuu notes his heart begins to beat a little. It may be out of intrinsic politeness, but Ryuu wants to assume that it’s Sougo’s way of getting closer to him. He smiles back, “was it? I’m happy to hear that!”

“Yes, I’m sorry for not being able to help…”

“That’s no problem, you can just help out next time!” Ryuu chirps back happily, despite noting the growing grimace on Sougo’s face. Ryuu’s own cheerful demeanor grows somber, and then the two of them fall into further silence. He chalks it up to Sougo focusing on the task at hand, but there’s not much concentration needed to wipe down the table. Ryuu frowns, turning on the faucet and beginning to rinse off the suds-covered china.

“N-Next time…” Sougo parrots back, albeit quietly. He lets out a miniscule sigh, but shakes it off as he comes back to the sink to rinse off the cleaning rag. When he’s done, he hangs it on a rack to let it dry. “Tsunashi-san, do you need any help with the dishes?”

Ryuu shakes his head, as he takes control of the faucet again. “I think I have it handled.” He looks back down to the slowly decreasing pile of dishware as he moves it to the drying rack. He immediately recognizes that there are already pre-existing plates and bowls (presumably left over from lunch or breakfast), and wonders if he should put them back. Sougo seems to pick up on this immediately, moving behind Ryuu and sliping over onto the other side to collect the previous dishes.

Despite the slight tension, Ryuu appreciates the domesticity he had the whole night-- honestly, it made him feel like he’s just right back at home again with his family. “Sougo-kun… this is pretty fun.”

“Fun? But I’m technically making you do our chores--” Sougo protests, but is immediately cut off.

“It is! It feels like we’re a family.” Ryuu interjects, the ends of his lips curving as he shoots a fond glance at the other. He then diverts his gaze back to the dishes, noticing by now that the last one has been properly rinsed. After turning off the water, he places the last plate on an empty space within the drying rack. Satisfied with his work, he dries off his hands with a kitchen towel hanging on the side of the cabinet.

“A family, huh…” Sougo returns softly, giving a weak smile in turn. “Is this what your family was like, Tsunashi-san?”

“Oh, definitely. Would you like to meet them sometime?”

At his words, Sougo’s smile looks more strained now than ever. “Is that really fine, Tsunashi-san? It’s not like I’m someone that important to you.”

“What are you talking about? You’re plenty important to me!” Ryuu argues, “you’re my friend, Sougo-kun. I don’t see the problem with having you meet them.”

He doesn’t respond, seeming to tune out Ryuu completely at this point. He lets out a sigh, shakes his head, and avoids Ryuu’s gaze. He changes the subject, to Ryuu’s distaste. “Isn’t it getting late, Tsunashi-san? I apologize for keeping you here this long.”

“It is,” Ryuu agrees dejectedly, uncertain on if he said something wrong. “You haven’t kept me too long at all, if anything, I’ve been intruding so long. But… I hope we can do this again!”

Sougo gives him an uneasy smile. “Maybe.”

* * *

“So I heard you were over at our place the other day. You should’ve told me, Tsunashi-san! I would’ve came back.” Mitsuki states, shaking his head slightly as he preps himself for their jog via stretches. _A warm-up for a warm-up_ , Ryunosuke thinks with a smile.

“Oh, Tamaki-kun just invited me over for dinner.” Ryuu explains, “although, Sougo-kun might not like me… he’s been responding very formally in our texts. I think I did something seriously wrong.”

“Eh? Sougo’s just too shy, I’m sure of it!” Momo pipes in, eyes glittering and brightening up as he springs up from his own preparation of tying his shoes. “Alright, let’s start running. You gotta tell us everything then, Ryuu!”

Mitsuki whines in protest, “already? Wait up, I need to finish my stretches. After this we’re doing what again?”

“I thought we were just running?” Their senior asks with a sheepish grin, “silly Momo-chan for forgetting again.~”

“It’s just us rather than the whole club, so we can change plans!” Ryuu reassures the two of them. “Maybe soccer? But is it really possible to play with only the three of us?”

“Not with that attitude.” Mitsuki chimes in, but soon after Momo says something so ridiculous to the both of them.

“We should play golf instead.”

“Golf? Momo-san, then there’s no point in us running to warm up!” Mitsuki complains, shaking his head. He places his hands on his hips, grimacing as he thinks over it a little longer. “Ah, whatever. Let’s just run for now.”

Ryuu laughs at the interaction-- the two made a good comedic combination somehow, but it must be because of their similarities. He beams brightly, and breaks into a light jog. He beckons Momo and Mitsuki to follow, and the two start as well-- and already starts to speed up in attempts to overtake him. “This isn’t a race, guys! We’re literally just exercising!”

Momo grins devilishly, “well, Ryuu. Tell me about what happened!”

Ryuu begins to slow down, and he bites his lip. “Oh, that’s a long story…”

“Go on, I wanna know too!” Mitsuki exclaims, “I can talk to Sougo about it too, y’know.”

“Eh? It’s really fine, it’s my problem and I should be the one to solve it…” Ryuu trails off, but shakes off his reluctance to talk. He goes back to the slightly faster pace he’s been at earlier, and then he begins to recount the events of dinner from the other night.

The two listen intently and stay silent to Ryuu’s happiness, only affirming that they are listening through nods.

“So that's where I'm struggling… did I offend him?” Ryuu frowns, scratching the back of his neck as he reflects on his anecdote.

Mitsuki lets out a long hum, signalling that he's doing his own thinking on Ryuu’s situation.

“Momo-chan the love guru is here to help!” Momo declares, pointing a finger into the sky as he speeds up a little. Ryuu and Mitsuki are caught off guard at first, but push themselves to catch up. “So you told him that he's your friend, right?”

Ryuu blinks, “yeah. Because that's the truth?”

Mitsuki clicks his tongue, and shakes his head. “No wonder he's mad. Did you ever consider that Sougo might have a crush on you?”

“What? No way. Even if he did, I totally ruined it now.” Ryuu protests, his eyebrows furrowing at even the suggestion that Sougo might return his feelings. The thought of it is honestly quite foreign, and even now he doubts the plausibility of what Mitsuki is saying. No way, that can’t possibly be the case. Unconsciously he slows down as he thinks about it more, allowing for both Mitsuki and Momo to advance in front of him. They even start to whisper to each other, to Ryuu’s increasing puzzlement.

Finally, the two of them skid to a stop. They turn slightly and glance at Ryuu expectantly. Ryuu gets the hint, slowing himself down and stopping as soon as he catches up to the two of them. “Guys?”

Mitsuki grins, bumping a fist against his chest pridefully. “It’ll be all okay, Tsunashi-san! We’ll help you out!”

Momo winks, nodding in agreement with Mitsuki. “Just depend on your senpai, okay? I’ll work it out later, but let’s go play golf for now!”

“Golf? Still?” Mitsuki interjects, his shoulders visibly slumping at the thought. “That’s pretty boring, though…”

“That’s no good, Mitsuki! Golf is a necessary part of making it big in the business world. Old men like playing it all the time.” Momo explains, “so I’m helping you guys out. If you’re good at golf, then they might be impressed enough with you so you can get those sweet connections!”

“Re:vale really is amazing…” Ryuu and Mitsuki mutter simultaneously in response.

* * *

**[MOMO]:** Ryuu! Wanna go out drinking this Sunday?

 

Ryuu glances at the message with a tinge of confusion, surprised by the sudden request. Maybe he wants to give him more advice..? Either way, it doesn’t seem like he’s in the position to really deny a request from his senpai.

 

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** I’ll check with my manager first! I don’t think I have anything scheduled for that day.

 **[MOMO]:** Oh, you’re free.

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** How do you know that?

 **[MOMO]:** (っ˘ω˘ς )

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** Um…

 **[MOMO]:** I asked! Don’t doubt Momo-chan! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** Then that sounds like a good idea. ^^ Just send me the location later!

 **[MOMO]:** ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ Yay!!!

* * *

Despite his own expectations to keep himself sober tonight, Ryuu has been quickly foiled by his senior’s own plans. Whatever Momo’s agenda happens to be, it consists of him casually inviting the two of them to drinks (knowing they can't deny) without telling them that the other would be there. It's a set up, and he is a little surprised that the other idols have noticed the recent tension between him and the other idol. Was it that obvious? Their exchanges degraded to be no more than a simple greeting, but Ryuu had hoped that it had been chalked up all to how busy the both of them were. It might be his own fault for confiding in him and Mitsuki during that meeting, but he had to get it off his mind. He didn't really think they were set on helping him out.

So now..? Momo beams brightly at the both of them as soon as Sougo reluctantly takes a seat on the bar stool. For a brief second, they make eye contact-- only for Sougo’s eyes to flit away. The disappointment weighs down Ryuu’s smile, and he instead opts to turn back around to face his drink. “I didn't think anyone else was coming, Momo-san…”

Momo perks up, shaking his head and is quick to reassure Ryuu with a slap on the back. “Huh? Seems like I forgot to tell you! I just thought it'd be a good idea if all of us drank together again. We could've made this a sports club thing, but… I wanted to talk to Sougo some more!” He then quickly turns to Sougo, to which Ryuu assumes he gives another smile. Ryuu turns his head to gauge Sougo’s reaction. The same modest and restrained smile with a gentle chuckle to accompany it.

“I'm glad to hear that, Momo-san.” He replies almost mechanically, and quickly after that Momo motions over the bartender to get Sougo a glass of beer. His face begins to thaw at that point. His cheeks grow more red, and he raises both his hands to flail them around as an attempt to signal for their senior to cease. Then comes his protests, all polite, “are you sure about this? I really don't know if I should drink. You know how I get when I'm drunk…”

“Eh? It's a total waste if you came here to just watch Ryuu and I drink! Loosen your tie, get crazy. None of us here are to judge. Ryuu is a pretty bad drunk himself.” Momo exclaims, jabbing a thumb back in Ryuu’s direction. Momo leans in at that point to whisper in Sougo’s ear, leaving it to Ryuu to imagine what he says.

Not like he will. He's not going to give himself false hope.

So he settles for staring at Sougo still, whose reactions get more and more vividly flustered at his senior continues. “Momo-san, please don't even suggest that!”

Momo laughs boisterously, “sorry~ but if you really do get wasted, you can always use Momo-chan as a lap pillow! Unless you prefer Ryuu?”

He chokes. Ryuu pauses, his eyes still trained directly on Sougo. Sougo seems to have remembered his presence at this point, and finally returns the gesture. His eyes look straight into his for a split second before averting back away.

“That's… I will not impose on any of you tonight. So please, I would not like to imbibe tonight.”

 _I would like it if you did, though…_ Ryuu thinks pathetically before turning around and lifting his own glass of beer. He begins to chug it, hoping the alcohol will burn away at his consciousness so he doesn't have to acknowledge the knot in his heart.

“Wow, Ryuu! Going straight for the chug, huh? Hey Bartender, get him another glass!”

Ryuu lets out a sigh after he finishes the entirety of the drink, and slams the empty glass on the table. He wipes at his lips sloppily with the back of his hand. He leans forward into the counter, craning his neck to look over at how Sougo is faring.

Momo begins to attempt at idle chatter, asking them both questions about their day, and seems to grow a little more frustrated as the two of them only give lukewarm responses.

Momo is then interrupted by the sliding of three new glasses of beer toward them. Momo grabs one and purposefully puts it right under Sougo’s nose.

Sougo looks solemnly down at his drink, shoulders tense as the three of them sit in some sort of dreadful silence.

Awkwardly, Ryuu reaches for his own glass. Maybe he should just chug it down so he doesn't have to deal with this. It's strange that he's so used to being the mediator of his own group, but now it seems like Momo is acting as one for him and Sougo.

It's not even like they're fighting. That's not the case at all.

Sougo must've just picked up on his feelings, and that's why he's acting so awkwardly around him. That's the case, isn't it?

“Sougo-kun.” He speaks instead, stupidly. He doesn't even know what to talk to him about. “It's… been a while, hasn't it.”

“Yes,” Sougo replies curtly, fingers tapping on the counter, “I'm sorry about Tamaki-kun. He's really been inconveniencing you a lot lately, hasn't he?”

Ryuu’s eyes widen, and he shakes his head. “No, not at all. I'm happy that he finds me reliable. It's been fun hanging out with him.”

Sougo stops, fingers curling around his tall glass of beer. “I see. That's good, then. I wouldn't want to be a burden on you, Tsunashi-san.”

Momo, breaking his silence, gets off his seat. He stands up straight, and thumps the counter to get their attention. “I need to go to the bathroom. Like… number two. You guys get it, right?”

“A-Ah, sure…” Sougo replies slowly, and Ryuu simply nods.

Momo replies to this with a wink directed at Ryuu, and now he finds himself a bit flustered and disorientated.

He left them alone on purpose. So this is just a setup after all. So he means for them just to talk out their problems.

Communication is important after all, and it's not like they will know what the problem is until either of them say something. But he's not ready to confess.

“You're not a burden on me, Sougo-kun. You never are.” Ryuu murmurs, swiveling completely around in his chair to face Sougo straight-on. Now he drinks in his appearance-- a plain white button-down partially covered by a neatly ironed purple cardigan. It's just like him to dress like that. Despite his better judgement, he elects to change to Momo’s seat. No separation then. He puts a hand on his shoulder, and notes Sougo’s growing blush with a hint of triumph. “It's alright to be selfish sometimes. And I want to do what I can for you. So if you want anything, I will try my best to make sure you get it.”

“I can't be selfish. I can't.” Sougo retorts back quickly, spitting out the words with some sort of disgust. Immediately his face drains of embarrassment and begins to be replaced with anger. “I don't want anything, Tsunashi-san. I already achieved my dream, and now I'm still thinking I don't deserve any of it. I don't deserve to be happy like this. And I especially don't deserve you being this kind to me!”

Ryuu blinks owishly, taken aback by his sudden loudness and the barrage of furious self-deprecation that follows. He hates hearing Sougo saying this about himself. But if this has been what's bothering Sougo the whole time, then maybe he can resolve it. But he can't help but think of what led to Sougo thinking this way. What exactly destroyed him so much that he feels like he's sinning for wanting his own happiness? Wasn't he getting better?

The more he thinks about it, the more incensed he becomes. He looks at Sougo again, who seems to be out of breath after his words, and now Ryuu purses his lips. Quietly, he begins, “what do you mean you don't deserve to be happy? Of course you do, Sougo-kun! Haven't you taken so many risks to come this far? So why… why do you still think that you aren't deserving? Why is it so bad for me to want for you to rely on me?”

“That's… I just can't help but think that way.” Sougo relents, eyes growing glassy as he tries to continue. “I've just been happier than I ever been in my life, so now that I want more I can't help but hate it. It's something I absolutely can't have either. I'm so spoiled by life right now, so if God gave me more than that... I don't think I am worth it.”

He sniffs.

Ryuu’s frown only grows. “Sougo-kun, you _are_ worth it…” He whispers, moving his hand to gently cup Sougo’s cheek. It’s nothing much, but if it even gave him any amount of reassurance it will be ideal.

“Stop it, Tsunashi-san. You can’t keep doing this.” Sougo mutters quietly, reaching for his glass of beer. He lets out a sigh, and takes in a long gulp of it-- something Ryuu would never expect from someone so unwilling to touch alcohol.

“What do you even mean, Sougo-kun? I won’t know what exactly I’m doing wrong unless you tell me.” Ryuu asks in a gentler tone, noticing how frustrated both of them are becoming. It’s funny, he thought talking to each other would solve this. Yet it only seems to make them feel more overwhelmed with impossible to name emotions.

Sougo grimaces, looking straight into his drink, pondering on whether to drink some more or not. He begins to play a little with the glass, sloshing it back and forth as if to take his mind off his own conflicted thoughts.

“Sougo-kun, are you forcing yourself to drink at this point? You’ve always been so hesitant, so why now?” Ryuu questions, his voice beginning to crack from how desperate he is to learn about Sougo’s reasoning.

The younger idol simply chuckles, “I would feel bad if I wasted Momo-san's money by not drinking…” He says it with a tinge of uncertainty, indicating that he might actually just want to trick himself into doing it. He continues to drink more of the liquid, and finally the rest of the drink goes down. “Another glass, please.”

Ryuu blinks, but only glances down at his own drink. He surely has his reasons for wanting to drink now, and it'd be rude to keep asking. Ryuu takes a moment to chug again himself. He lets out a hefty sigh as soon as he finishes, placing it back on the counter and facing Sougo again.

“Tsunashi-san,” Sougo begins with a softer tone, hands gripping out his empty glass of beer. “Why do you care so much about me?” His eyes look frenzied, and Ryuu notices the tears threatening to spill out earlier back again.

 _Oh._ Ryuu’s never expected to be asked this question. He pauses, taking the time to fabricate reasons in his head-- _quick, lie to make sure he doesn't know._ His clouded judgement says, but his mouth refuses to listen to his brain. “ _Deeji daisuki saa_.” Ryuu blurts out with reddened cheeks (from either the alcohol or the hasty confession) and sweaty palms. He clamps his mouth shut, afraid for what Sougo’s reaction would be.

The words seems to render Sougo speechless, and he quietly sets down his glass. He leans in closer to Ryuu, putting his hands down and placing them on the other’s legs. “Tsunashi-san…”

Ryunosuke gulps, and shuts his eyes. “ _Wassaibiin_ \--”

“I don't understand what you're saying!” Sougo frowns, forming a pout with his lips as he digs his nails into Ryuu’s legs. “Okinawan, isn't it? What was the word… _mensore!_ ”

Ryuu chuckles, his anxieties all flying away as he takes another large gulp of his beer.  “ _Mensore!_ ” He didn't think he's that far gone to start speaking solely in Okinawan, but if that means Sougo didn't realize he confessed, then… he's willing to go with it.

From there, everything starts to become a blur.

The only thing he can't forget is the taste of Sougo’s tears-- although he wonders why he can remember them in the first place.

* * *

He wakes up with a headache, and a very hazy recollection of the last night. He thinks over what transpired, only drawing a blank aside from the fact he went drinking with Momo and… Sougo. Suddenly all those complicated feelings pour into his consciousness, and Ryuu wonders what sort of heart-to-heart did they have.

First thing he does is check his phone, which has been neatly plugged into its charger along with how neat his belongings were set on his nightstand. Did someone take him home? He suddenly feels a little more embarrassed for his inability to control his drinking…

His phone is laden with a large amount of notifications, all coming from rabbit chats with different people. He blinks, noticing they came primarily from the other idols, but he regretfully doesn't see a single one from Sougo.

 

 **[YAMATO]:** I knew this would happen

 **[YAMATO]:** Take care of our cute Sou, okay~?

 

 **[MITSUKI]:** Congrats to you and Sougo, Tsunashi-san! Glad it all worked out. It's pretty romantic, right?

 

 **[IORI]:** Congratulations, Tsunashi-san. Please take care of Osaka-san.

 

 **[TAMAKI]:** Finally. So that's why you two were like that.

 **[TAMAKI]:** I helped a lot so I request compensation. I'll take 105 ousama puddings as payment

 

[ **NAGI]:** Tsunashi-shi, you better take good care of Sougo. (wry smile)

 **[NAGI]:** :-)

 

 _Two smiles?_ Ryuu thinks tiredly, wondering if this is a joke.

 

 **[RIKU]:** I'm super happy for you and Sougo-san! Congrats!

 

 **[YUKI]:** Give Sougo-kun a thrill of his life with your splendid pectorals ^^

 **[YUKI]:** Use protection too ^^

 

 _This isn't what I expected to wake up to._ Now he’s also a bit self-conscious about how Yuki thinks about him.

 

 **[GAKU]:** You better keep this hidden from my old man you know (lol)

 **[GAKU]:** But I'm happy, Ryuu. Osaka is a bit strange, but he's a good kid. You did tell me that you liked him a lot... you got what you wanted, right?

 

_Did I really get what I wanted?_

 

 **[TENN]:** Hmm, so it's Osaka Sougo after all. I'm happy for you, Ryuu.

 **[TENN]:** Now, if you stopped getting distracted during work that would be nice.

 

Everything starts to make sense when he views Momo’s message.

 

 **[MOMO]:** Sorry, sorry! I couldn't resist telling everyone! You two looked so cute together I assumed my plan worked!

 

So there had been a plan after all. Ryuu finally decides to respond to Momo for information, making a mental note to respond to everyone else later.

 

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** Momo-san, I don't remember any of this happening.

 **[MOMO]:** [attached file: IMG1008.jpg]

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** Oh.

 

He gulps, taking a moment to look over at the photo evidence closely. It was the two of them… making out, it seems. And if he looks even closer he notices that Sougo is crying in the photo. He has to talk to him, immediately. He grimaces, clicking on the conversation he has with Sougo. As soon as the screen loads, he gets a message.

 

 **[SOUGO]:** Please forget about everything that happened last night. That was shameful of me and I took advantage of you when you were drunk.

 **[SOUGO]:** I apologize deeply. I will cut off ties with you, so please don't think badly of IDOLiSH7. Thank you, Tsunashi-san, for indulging in my selfishness.

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** Sougo-kun! Please just tell me what's going on!

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** Let me talk to you. Did you get those texts of everyone congratulating us? Momo-san thinks we got together

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** Please

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** why aren't you responding? Sougo-kun, are you okay?

 

Biting his lip, he takes the liberty of dialing the other’s number. While he waits anxiously for the call to go through, he thinks about what Sougo has said. Indulging in his selfishness? What even happened back then, he wonders.

Finally a voice speaks up, but Ryuu’s shoulders physically droop as soon as he realizes it was an answering machine. So he doesn't want to talk. Ryuu hangs up there, deciding to back off and not leave a voice message behind.

Although, it would stir up too much ruckus and cause a lot of issues if Ryuu was to deny everyone of the rumors Momo started. If Ryuu figures out how to solve this, maybe the claim of them dating will turn out true in the end. So he has to try first, but it seems Sougo is avoidant of social media right now in the first place. This might work in his favor since he doesn’t want Sougo to deny everything-- it’ll cause too much problems.

He lets out a hefty sigh, tapping around his phone and typing half-hearted responses to the others who kindly congratulated him. However, it seems like Sougo wants nothing to do with him now. Well, this reluctance seems to have seems to have settled ever since that dinner, but this crushes any and all hope Ryuu has left. Now he’s worried he’s taken advantage of Sougo while both of them were drunk. Oh, he’s a terrible person-- he’s totally screwed up this time.

Although, he has no idea why he keeps calling himself selfish. Why..? Why does he still think he’s the one being greedy if Ryuu is the one being forceful? It’s not right at all, isn’t it..?

His phone goes off again, and Ryuu returns from staring into nowhere in particular to focusing on his phone.

It’s not like life can conveniently pause for him to allow him time to figure this out all on his own-- reality doesn’t work like that. Even if he’s plagued with some extreme inner turmoil, he’s forced to keep living on. Even so, it’s hard to push this aside as if it’s nothing-- he has to solve things with Sougo somehow.

In the current state of the idol industry and close relations with IDOLiSH7, such a thing as cutting off contact with Sougo completely is implausible. Also, it’d be too painful for Ryuu-- almost as if moving on from one’s first love, but they say that it can follow a man to his grave.

He sighs, but finally goes back to seeing what Tenn has to say.

 

 **[TENN]:** What did I say about focusing on work.

 **[TENN]:** Did you get out of bed yet? You better have, Ryuu. We have practice soon.

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** Really? Sorry, I didn’t even notice the time!

 

 **[GAKU]:** Do you have a hangover (lol)

 **[GAKU]:** I’ll bring something. Want me to pick you up?

 **[RYUNOSUKE]:** That’ll be great, I’m not sure if I can drive safely right now. Thank you so much, Gaku!

* * *

Ryuu lets out a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he drags himself onto the passenger seat of Gaku’s (rather fancy) car. It’s been a while since he let Gaku drive him somewhere, the last time being a while back. He enjoys the rides for the most part, but then Gaku seems to enjoy breaking traffic laws sometimes.

“Yo.”

“Yo?”

“You make me sound lame…” Gaku clicks his tongue, shaking his head as he shifts the gear into drive. He takes a quick glance at all his mirrors and makes a swift attempt at checking the road before easing his car into the main road. Ryuu hopes that he could just check a little more carefully, what are they going to do if a kid was playing outside at the time? Very quickly Gaku moves on, and he tilts the wheel slightly as he changes lanes. He continues to alternate between lanes, and honestly this only makes Ryuu more dizzy.

“Gaku, stop changing lanes! Just stick to one!”

“But we’re late and we need to get there pretty fast.” Gaku answers back pragmatically, fixing his eyes back on the road after looking over at Ryuu to shoot him a look. Ryuu fearfully looks ahead as well, and notes that the next traffic light turned yellow.

“You should slow down…” Ryuu suggests quietly, concern evident in his slightly frightened expression complete with wide eyes and a small frown.

“Nah, we can make it.” Gaku puts more pressure on the gas pedal, increasing the speed of the car rather than slowing it down as intended.

All the anxieties about his relationship with Sougo die on his tongue, instead turning into the more important question of his survival.

“I don’t want to drive behind a truck…” Gaku mumbles to himself, and Ryuu tries to block off his ears so he doesn’t hear, but he gives up. He’s going to suffer either way with this, he simply looks out the window miserably as he notes that Gaku only continued to change lanes. Just when he thought he’ll stop...

“Driving behind a bus isn’t ideal either..”

Really, is he a child? “Gaku…” Ryuu speaks up, his voice unintentionally sounding more whiny.

“Oh, do you want some music?” Gaku reaches over to switch on the radio, and soon MEZZO’s song starts blaring out of the car speakers.

_Really bad timing!_

“Thanks, Gaku…” He murmurs sarcastically. Ryuu closes his eyes, deciding to leave his life in Gaku’s hands. It should be less scary if he keeps his eyes closed, right? That way he won’t be aware of what traffic laws the other is trying to break here.

* * *

Tenn tilts his head, shooting Ryuu a somewhat concerned look as he takes a large sip out of his water bottle. “So. You were off today during practice, Ryuu. Something up?”

“Must be the hangover.” Gaku adds, shaking his head as he wipes off his sweat on the back of his neck with a dry towel. After wiping what he judged to be sufficient, he simply leaves the cloth wrapped around his neck. He then also turns slightly to stare at Ryuu. “Damn, Ryuu, did my cure not work?”

With the eyes of both of his members trained on him, Ryuu fidgets about antsily. “Ah, my head is fine now, it’s just…”

“Ah, I’ve figured it out.” Tenn mutters, then points a finger directly at Gaku. Ryuu is relieved that the focus isn’t entirely on him at this point, but dreads the thought of another fight breaking out between the two of them. “It’s your terrible driving, Gaku.”

“Hah? If it’s so bad, then why don’t you drive us home! I’d like to see you try!” Gaku scowls, also tearing his gaze from Ryuu and fixating them on Tenn. “You don’t even have a license.”

“I think I’ll do a better job despite that.” Tenn returns snidely.

“Guys, don’t fight!” Ryuu finally decides to intervene, somewhat reassured by reverting to the normal routine. His reprising of his role as Trigger’s mediator somewhat calms him, and the tumultuous and stormy condition of his heart quiets down.

Instead of their usual reactions of asking if he’s a heroine, their frowns fade and are swiftly replaced with softened smiles. “Ha, so you are still there after all, Ryuu.” Gaku remarks smugly.

“Like I said, you were not in sync during rehearsal. It’ll be a problem if this continues, so why not tell us about what’s on your mind?” Tenn asks again, picking up a chair and dragging it toward Ryunosuke. He motions for the other to sit down, and Ryuu nods to him as an expression of his gratitude as he takes a seat.

Gaku takes to sitting on the floor, leaning back as he adjusts the towel around his neck with one hand; the other hand he positions flat on the ground to help maintain his balance. “If right now isn’t the time, we can get some drinks later tonight.”

“I’ve had enough of drinking, actually…” Ryuu laughs nervously in response, but shakes his head. “You guys really shouldn't worry about me. I’ll get over it-- sorry for dragging you guys down during practice!”

Tenn shakes his head, “Ryuu, you know that’s not what I mean--”

“Looks like Tenn is worried about you.” Gaku smirks. “That’s okay. Let’s just eat out later. What are you in the mood for, Ryuu?”

Ryuu pauses, pursing his lips as he searches in his head for something he might want in particular. “Ah, I haven’t had udon in a while.”

“Udon, huh...”

Tenn grins, “sounds great. We’ll have udon.”

Ryuu swears that he spotted Gaku grimacing at the thought, but the other quickly casts away all indication of his distaste. He’s a soba purist, after all…

Soon Tenn raises his voice again, and Ryuu is torn from his thoughts to pay attention to Tenn’s pointed gaze. “So we aren’t left in the dark here, is there something wrong with Osaka Sougo?”

Ryuu’s breath hitches at the mere mention of the other boy, and he attempts to escape Tenn’s stare. His eyes meet with Gaku’s, and he only seems to have a similar expression to Tenn’s. So there’s really no avoiding the subject. Memories of the text messages from this morning flood back into Ryuu’s brain, and some sort of uneasy sensation wells up in his stomach. Ryuu bets it’s because of Gaku’s so-called hangover cure, but he knows it might be a side-effect of the guilt he felt.

“Sougo-kun… well, that’s…” Ryuu trails off hesitantly, eyes shifting between both Tenn and Gaku.

“You got together with Osaka, right..?” Gaku blinks, turning his gaze up at Ryuu. “It seems like there’s something wrong after all. What is it, are you disappointed?”

“There’s nothing happy about it.” Ryuu mutters darkly, trying to ignore the knot within and stands back up from the chair. “W-We should get back to practice, right?”

Gaku frowns, furrowing his eyebrows. He hoists himself off the ground (using his hand as an anchor) and then he grabs onto Ryuu’s shoulder. “Hey. You better explain yourself here. Sorry if we’re being pushy about this, but… you’re in pain. You can’t possibly work like this--”

“That’s nice and all, Gaku, but it’s not like that should prevent him. He’s a professional, he should be able to push his personal issues aside.” Tenn cuts in coldly, “we really are running out of time. As much as I’d like for Ryuu to be at his top condition, we should get back to practice and quit wasting time here like this.”

“It’s just rehearsal!” Gaku fires back. “God, Tenn! You know better than anyone that it’s bad to push ourselves.”

“Gaku, Tenn, it’s fine.” Ryuu interrupts, now more so troubled over the fact that the other two TRIGGER members are clashing with each other again-- and actually over him this time. “It’s my decision after all. I feel a little better now after some rest, so let’s just get through the rest of practice. I’ll explain everything later! I promise.”

Gaku snorts, “you better not forget that promise.” He lets go of Ryuu’s shoulder, and then snatches the towel he had. He places it over the back of the chair. “Just tell us if you need another break, though. I’ll take some responsibility.”

“Maybe try to improve your driving. It'll help.”

“Shut up, you damn brat! I didn’t ask you!”

Ryuu laughs, his spirits lifted by the typical, yet harmless banter between the other two.

* * *

“Hah? What do you mean I can’t order soba here?” Gaku frowns, his hand gesturing right at the soba listings on the menu. “It’s not like they don’t have any!”

Tenn scoffs, “think about it, Gaku. Why would you order soba at an udon specialty shop? What if they just use store bought soba noodles and they’re on the menu solely for the sake of variety?”

“Hmph. I guess it’s no good if it’s half-assed, after all.”

“Ah, so you want them to whole-ass it.”

“That’s not a word.” Gaku squints, shaking his head as he closed the menu shut. “Hey, we’re ready to order.” He calls over to the man behind the counter, and then the three list off their appropriate order.

With that being handled, Gaku leans into the counter, and glances over at Ryuu. “So, why not start from the beginning? I’m assuming that things with Osaka actually went sour.”

Ryuu lets out a small laugh, and fixates his gaze on the table in front of him rather than looking at Gaku. “After that happened, he refuses to talk to me.” He mumbles weakly, causing for Gaku to grab his arm, tugging it slightly so Ryuu will look at him.

“We’re not getting anywhere if you’re going to just mumble like that.” Gaku declares firmly, “look at me, Ryuu.” With a click of his tongue, he releases Ryuu’s arm.

He’s grateful for that, and slowly drags his head up from its drooping position. He faces Gaku, and takes a moment to take in a deep breath. Nothing will be solved unless he speaks up about it-- they’re not mind readers. As far as he’s concerned, Gaku and Tenn only know of the picture Momo sent around.

“You remember that day I went out shopping with Tamaki-kun?” Ryuu begins, trying to recount the rest of the night in as much detail as possible.

“You pinned him against a fridge?” Tenn inquires, shaking his head. “And you didn’t even realize what you did.”

“H-Huh? So the reason wasn’t because of that..?”

“You’re so oblivious. Just move on, it’s getting painful to hear this.”

Gaku only laughs.

The arrival of their udon prevents Ryuu from continuing on as Tenn has instructed, distracting the three of them with the delicious aroma emanating from the bowls. Noticing how hungry he’s become after their long day of practice, he gratefully grabs his pair of chopsticks and starts taking in the noodles.

“Haah… I guess it’s not that bad,” Gaku admits with a pout, and Ryuu glances over to see that he’s happily slurping the broth. “Udon, though…”

“The appeal is that it’s very thick. You don’t have soba like that, do you?” Tenn points out, turning to gracefully eat from his own bowl of udon. His eyes twitch, and he begins to glare at it on his own. “This is going to be so fattening, though...”

“Isn’t it okay once in a while?” Ryuu asks with a small smile, and to his surprise, Tenn nods in affirmation.

“I suppose just this once.” Tenn replies, taking his own pair of chopsticks and grabs a noodle with them. He elegantly slurps the noodle, and noticeably looks satisfied from it. “It’s good as I expected… oh, Ryuu. Continue.”

Ryuu coughs, bringing the other two to sit quietly and pay attention to him. “Momo-san and Mitsuki-kun, when I asked them about it, said that Sougo-kun must’ve been angry that I called him a friend.”

“Izumi-ani watches all those romance movies, so he probably applied that to this.” Gaku sighs, “as for confiding in Momo-san… that wasn’t a good idea.”

Ryuu laughs quietly, “maybe. He then set me up with Sougo-kun, and then I tried to talk to him… but I don’t know what happened, we both ended up getting drunk and now I don’t remember all that much about it. In the picture though, he was crying…”

Gaku sets his chopsticks down, abandoning his bowl of udon and turning completely to face Ryuu straight-on. “So what I’m getting is that Yotsuba and Momo-san meddled in whatever conflict you had with Osaka. Those forced interactions somehow resulted in Osaka not ever wanting to talk to you again.”

“B-Basically,” Ryuu chokes out with a frown. “I don’t get it, I thought that actually communicating with others can solve everything, just like that… but it seems like it’s harder than I thought. I just made it worse.”

“Ryuu, it’s because alcohol was involved for the second one. It’s a cheap tactic to get both of you to open up.” Gaku explains, and Ryuu’s eyes widen at the realization the other has spelled out for him. “Talk to him. No cooking, no drinking, nothing. You can take the car and drive over there, I’ll just stay here with Tenn.”

“How kind of you to decide that on your own,” Tenn hisses, putting down his own chopsticks to join in the conversation. He huffs, taking his phone out of his pocket. He seems to take a moment to look at it, before turning back to Ryuu. “Osaka Sougo is at the dorms right now, but he’s holed himself in his room.”

“Oh, you have an informant?”

Tenn rolls his eyes at Gaku’s insinuation, “nothing like that. Riku is just worried, so he told me about it. You better go right now, Ryuu.”

Ryuu bobs his head in understanding, and he gets up from his seat, but not without eating more of his udon. He reaches for his wallet, but Tenn shoots him a glare.

“Don’t worry about paying. It’s all on Gaku tonight.”

“Huh? When did I say I was paying?”

Tenn directs his glare at Gaku instead, who reluctantly relents. “Fine. Good luck, Ryuu. I know you can fix it.”

Ryuu returns Gaku’s faith with a humbled smile, “I-I hope I can…”

* * *

As soon as Ryuu reaches the door,  it’s flung open by Riku with a desperate expression on his face. “T-Tsunashi-san, Sougo-san hasn’t left his room ever since he came back from work. He won’t even eat dinner.” He sputters all out in one breath, after saying those words he takes a moment to return to normal breathing. He flushes, realizing his antsiness could’ve made the other uncomfortable, and shuffles back inside by a little. He gestures for Ryuu to come in, and he enters quickly, kicking off his shoes.

Honestly, Ryuu is just as sweaty and frantic as Riku has been. It seems like Riku is deeply worried for Sougo, and Ryuu is aware that Sougo loves to keep things to himself. Really, he should’ve gotten better with this. He sucks in a breath of his own, and follows Riku to Sougo’s room, but first they make a detour for Riku to grab a bowl filled with some stir-fried noodles, presumably Sougo’s dinner.

“I really don’t know what’s bothering him, he wouldn’t answer any of our rabbit chats. We even got manager involved, but she wasn’t able to get a straight answer out of him either.” He fills in Ryuu about the situation, “he’s been like this all day! Sougo-san doesn’t have a secret snack stash in his room like Tamaki, so I wasn’t sure if he’s eating.”

Uselessly, Ryuu wonders if Riku casually dropped secrets like that all the time. Good thing he isn’t going to bother talking to Tamaki about it-- he’s a growing boy, so it’s fine. “I don’t know if he wants to see me either, to be honest.”

“Why not? Sougo-san really likes you, right?” Riku blinks, peering up at him innocently. “We might as well give it a try, right?”

Ryuu chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. Somehow he’s similar to Tenn in a way, but he isn’t sure what part of him was. Gaku always said things like how these twins were nothing alike, and he couldn’t believe Tenn is related to him. However, they do have their similarities. “I see. Thank you for telling me, Riku-kun.”

“No problem! Ah, here’s his room.” He passes the bowl to Ryuu, symbolizing his entrusting of Sougo’s situation to the older completely. “Sougo-san, please be okay!”

 _I hope he’s alright too_ , Ryuu steps forward and hesitantly knocks the door with his free hand. “Sougo-kun! Are you okay?”

For a minute he’s met with sheer silence, but the ruffling of what he assumed to be sheets indicates otherwise. Ryuu knocks again, deciding his resolve is to get through to Sougo no matter what. If he gave up now, then their relationship will definitely be ruined forever.

He doesn’t want that, _god_ , that’s the opposite of what he wants. What’s more important is that Sougo is alive and he didn’t resort to any extreme means. “Sougo-kun! Open up, please.”

To his relief, a voice speaks up. “T-Tsunashi-san… what are you doing here? Didn’t I tell you--”

“Sougo-kun, you need to eat dinner. Open the door, or I’ll seriously knock it down.” He threatens, a small part of him uncertain if he can even follow up on that threat-- the idea of forcing his way through is too much for him. Maybe if he was Gaku, but he doesn’t want to be too forceful.

Sougo doesn’t say anything in response, but out of what Ryuu can make out is that he seems to be walking over. Finally, he turns the knob and opens the door. Ryuu brightens up, delighted to see Sougo again-- and even though he thought his heart will calm down, its pace only quickens and now thumps loudly in his chest. Of course, he’s not at his most optimal state-- he looks greatly fatigued.

It’s definitely because he didn’t eat. The first thing Ryuu does is offer the bowl of noodles to him. “Go and eat first. You must be hungry, right?”

Sougo dips his head apologetically, and he accepts the bowl from him. He ushers Ryuu into his room, making sure to close and lock the door before facing him again. He sits flat on the ground, insinuating for Ryuu to sit down as well.

Once they’re both situated on the ground, Sougo opens his mouth to speak.  “Thank you, Tsunashi-san… I’m… sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Ryuu perks up, tilting his head slightly to the side. Confusion strikes him as he tries to think about their past conversations, and the fact that they’ve been mostly tense lately. “I’m the one that’s been making you uncomfortable all this time.” Sougo must’ve taken note of his feelings, so that could’ve caused him to pull back.

“What?” Sougo mutters, pausing to start eating the dinner given to him. He chews on his noodles thoughtfully, and then immediately shakes his chopsticks as if to imitate a shake of the head. “No, it’s all my fault… I’m the one who was trying to control myself.”

“Control yourself? Why?”

“Tsunashi-san, do you remember from that night? I told you everything, I’m pretty sure.” Sougo admits while biting his lip, “I started drinking too, and became a little too honest. I took advantage of you, and the shame I felt in having Momo-san spread that around caused me to…”

“No, I totally blacked out…” Ryuu confesses, and he’s sure that Momo doesn’t know much either, considering he seemed to dip out for a moment, otherwise he’d have some remorse considering the amount of emotional burden Sougo seems to be bearing. “I just remember waking up with this sort of salty taste..? You were crying in that photo, Sougo-kun.”

Sougo blushes at the mention of it, and looks down. “I… was really too loose.” He mumbles, “I got to that spoiled stage, didn’t I? You were really drunk then, I suppose-- you started speaking in your Okinawan dialect.”

 _He’s changing the subject to me,_ Ryuu grumbles, but the idea of him drinking that much is pretty concerning. No wonder he had such an intense hangover. “Now I wish I remembered. I’m just making this all difficult…”

Sougo shakes his head, “no, no. It’s all my fault, Tsunashi-san. But um, can you translate what you said?”

“What was it?”

“ _Deeiji daisuki saa._ ” Sougo repeats, and immediately Ryuu finds his cheeks in flames. He tries to avoid Sougo’s gaze, but the younger starts blushing too. “T-Tsunashi-san? I-I assumed it wasn’t the same, so...”

“I confessed to you like that…” Ryuu whispers, hanging his head down from embarrassment. “That’s really not cool at all.”

“Excuse me?” Sougo blinks, “a confession? That’s impossible.”

 _This is what Gaku was talking about. This is much easier with clarity after all._ Ryuu lifts his head, and decides to go for it. “It’s not at all, Sougo-kun. I actually thought that you were avoiding me because you noticed that I had a… c-crush on you.” Ryuu stammers the last part off, and he can only shamefully think of how inexperienced he really was despite the playboy he’s made out to be.

“N-No, that’s not why!?” He lets out a gasp, “It’s because I wanted to control my selfishness… I’ve always admired you, but when we became friends it only got worse since I was seriously wanting you for myself.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, I even said before that I’m the type to just confess so there’s no complications like this, but yet…” Sougo clutches onto his chest, as if he’s letting out a sigh of relief. “This became one big mess, didn’t it..?”

“It doesn’t have to be complicated, then.” Ryuu smiles, offering a hand. Sougo’s eyes widen, but he sets down his bowl and his chopsticks, and accepts his hand. Sougo’s eyes shut for that moment, and Ryuu takes a minute to admire the serenity the other exudes. “What I’m hearing is that we both like each other after all, but neither of us was planning to confess for our own reasons. Right?”

Sougo nods, a bit flustered at Ryuu’s surprising bluntness. “Yes…” he murmurs, squeezing onto Ryuu’s hand. “I didn’t know you liked me too, though… even so, it wasn’t right of me to kiss you back then. I was crying because it was painful, knowing that I’m doing something so wrong…”

Hoping his embrace was as desirable as it’s said to be, he wraps another arm around Sougo’s body, and pulls him closer. “Sougo-kun. I don’t care about that. I’ll be willing to do that again, as much as you want.”

Sougo, although hesitant, returns the hug by snaking an arm around Ryuu. “So it’s alright for me to be happy like this..? Even though I’m spoiled this much already by life?”

“It’s because you worked hard all this time, Sougo.” Ryuu murmurs, dropping the honorific as he greedily squeezes him tighter.

“T-Tsunashi-san,” Sougo protests, but lowers his voice. “I see. Thank you for accepting my love… so we’ll leave the rumors as is, since they’re the truth.”

Ryuu nods, letting his instincts take over as he buries his head in the crook of Sougo’s neck. Warmth envelopes the insides of his body, and a rush of euphoria activates as he inhales in Sougo. “As long as you’ll take my love, too.”

Sougo’s body stiffens for a split second, and Ryuu chuckles at the thought of Sougo’s completely red face.

“I’ll monopolize all of it, Tsunashi-san.”

Now Ryuu is the one totally red in the face, but he’ll let it slide if Sougo wants to keep his promise.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading! it was a really fun time writing it and challenging myself with the plot haha.
> 
> you can catch me on twitter @shineonthesea for more ryuusou sobbing and gaku roasting!


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